“He wasn’t there again today”

The other day upon the stair
I saw a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t here again today.
Gee, I wish he’d go away.

John Kerry ran for President on the basis of a “tour in Vietnam”, but for two-thirds of the tour he wasn’t there .
He got Purple Hearts for wounds that weren’t there.
He got a medal for braving enemy fire that wasn’t there.
He wrote after-action reports, but the civilians he killed weren’t there.
When he threw away his medals, they weren’t there.
He joined a group of Vietnam veterans who hadn’t been there .
He publicized charges of war crimes by people who hadn’t been there .
He could clear up questions about a dishonorable discharge by signing a Form 180, but it isn’t there. [ed. What is there?]
His leadership in the Senate wasn’t there.
At Intelligence Committee hearings he wasn’t there.
He was endorsed by former crew mates who hadn’t been there .
He said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, then complained that Bush had lied by saying the same thing, then said his earlier claims had never been there.
He consulted with UN ambassadors who weren’t there.
His vote to attack Iraq wasn’t there, but his vote to support the troops that wasn’t there, had been there. [ed. Sorry. Sometimes Kerry’s nuances just won’t fit in a simply rhetorical schema.]
He got the support of world leaders who weren’t there.
He claimed that he would have gotten support from allies who say that they are never going to be there.
He rues one million disenfrachised black voters who are't there. [ed. Thanks to Anne Coulter for the reminder.]
He said the allies who are in Iraq aren’t there.
He said that at Tora Bora Bush missed Osama bin Laden, who wasn’t there.
He charged that Bush hadn’t secured high explosives that weren’t there, but when they were there, were the WMD that John Kerry says weren't there.

John Kerry and his campaign for President give new depth, richness, and poignancy to the expression “Empty Suit”.

I wish he’d go away.